Iconoclastic Cornfields: Confessions from Stump Sauce Ltd. CEO Assface Pissneck (Interview with Stump Sauce Ltd)

17.04.2002  :: АрхивАрхив интервью Автор: Chris Alfano

With such trendsetting outfits as Cannibal Horse and Amoebic Dysentery accenting its roster, the underground entity known as Stump Sauce Ltd. needs little introduction. Given the mysterious and semi-reclusive existence of its two founders, we at Deluge feel privileged to have been granted an interview with label head/general scene icon Assface Pissneck. As he explains in the following interview, things haven’t always been cushy for him and assistant Baron von Blastbeat. Few of us could withstand the sheer frustration these guys have experienced, be it indifference from the very fans they serve, or having one of their premier acts pulled from a major festival bill. However, true to their {mission statement}, the men of SSL have forged on to fight another day. Strap on your helmet and hold on tight…Herr Pissneck has entered the house! [Translation: TAKE COVER, FUCKERS!!! —AK]

— (CA) First off, how shall I address you? Assface? Mr. Pissneck? Perhaps something with more aesthetic appeal?

— (AP) Assface is fine. [As long as you don’t look down the manholes, because otherwise you’ll be greeted with an angry «DON’T YOU DARE TO TAKE A DUMP HERE!», courtesy of sewage workers crawling down there. —AK]

— (CA) What compelled you to start SSL? Were you fed up with the so-called «true underground» scene and its many cliches?

— (AP) Baron Von Blastbeat and I realized that there was an untapped wealth of bands with no talent, but a fervor all their own. We want to give these bands a voice, and a medium for releasing their crap. People need to hear these bands. We wouldn’t be doing this if we didn’t think that.

— (CA) I must admit to being surprised upon discovering that not all SSL bands are fictitious. In fact, several bands have mp3s linked from your website. Are you the sole contributor to these projects, or are other guilty parties involved too?

— (AP) Several of the bands on Stump Sauce are my projects, such as Cannibal Horse, Asskrispie, Reginald Veljohnson, Put, Arbijanger, and Fag Death. Others are Wayne’s (a.k.a. Baron von Blastbeat), such as Limbhat, Awesome Car, and Necrophiliac Licorice. Others are just friends of ours, and some are just people who wish to have their bands on SSL. True though, some of them are bands that were planned and never followed through. I have to weed those out sometime.

— (CA) Have any SSL bands toured or played live? If so, please describe the experience.

— (AP) Cannibal Horse performs live often. That’s the band that I put most of my effort into. We might some day tour, who knows. Cannibal Horse shows are always wild. One time we splattered open a piqata full of raw hamburger all over the crowd. We’ve had broken glass all over the stage, I’ve broken a glass bottle over my head… there’s usually a lot of bloodshed when we perform. I’m sure a few of our other bands have played a show or two, but who knows.

— (CA) You’ve complained in the past that you don’t get many orders for CDs. What do you attribute this to? Are death metal/grindcore fans just a bunch of lazy bastards, or are they too ignorant to know true talent when they hear it?

— (AP) If I knew the answer to this, I’d do something to remedy it in an instant because I truly want SSL to get going. I do believe that most people who know of us realize what we are, and think it’s funny but are too gay to actually order the shit. I swear if you send me $4 for something, you will be happy with what I send you. I can’t make it simpler than that.

— (CA) Aside from the music, what will fans get if they order a CD from SSL? Do you provide any extras, like liner notes, art work, or lyrics?

— (AP) Depends on what they order. Most of our releases don’t have any artwork, so I’d make something up once they ordered the crap. I dont think any of the artists on SSL even have any lyrics, so «no» to that one. As far as the CD goes, I’d jam as much crap as I possibly can on the CD-R and throw it in a jewel case.

— (CA) Tell us about the upcoming Cannibal Horse DVD. What’s on it, and when will it be released?

— (AP) That’s a good question. We’re all really lazy about the DVD. We have four shows videotaped, and we’d like to get it on DVD or VHS sometime soon. [A fucking SSL DVD?! You’ve gotta be kidding, guys… —AK]

— (CA) Are you involved in any non-SSL projects?

— (AP) Yes, I do vocals for Satan’s Almighty Penis, which is on Dead Virgin records, but distribued by SSL. We are working on a new album right now which might see the light of day as early as Summer ’02. For SAP info you can check out www.evilproducts.com.

— (CA) What bands do you listen to on a regular basis?

— (AP) One of my favorite albums of the past year has been 324’s «Customized Circle». It’s the most intense grind album I’ve ever heard. Recently I discovered Retaliation’s «The Execution», which is some excellent grindcore. I’m a big fan of old Immortal and other early black metal stuff, a lot of power metal like Blind Guardian, Sonata Arctica, Luca Turilli, etc. I often listen to Split Lip Rayfield, Devil In A Woodpile, Depeche Mode, and an endless list of other weird crap.

— (CA) Are there any recent additions to the SSL roster that you’d like to tell us about?

— (AP) My cybergrind band Reginald VelJohnson is fairly new. I forgot to add Untidy Bargain last time I updated the site — they are fucking awesome. I haven’t had time to do as much online promotion as I used to, (although) I always welcome bands to send me stuff or email me about their band. The more bands, the merrier.

— (CA) Is there any truth to the rumor that Your Vagina Was Sweating Strawberry Yogurt Inside Kenny G’s Saxophone is playing the second stage at Ozzfest?

— (AP) No, but I heard Cradle of Filth and Meshuggah are. Everyone who attends Ozzfest is a faggot. [Geez, this guy must’ve read our list of unpublished Anal Cunt song titles! —AK]

— (CA) Alright, man — you’ve reached the bitter end of this interview. With that, I’d like to request some closing comments. Feel free to rant, rave, or accuse high-ranking scene icons of buggering their immediate relatives, if you’d like. Knock yourself out!

— (AP) Spread hatred, stop having children, and order some fucking discs you stupid losers!

Visit official Stump Sauce Ltd site @ www.stumpsauce.cjb.net

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